this is a mickey choc my previous japanese manager from ntt bought for me from universal studio japan. i was too sayang wanna eat it, so just kept it in the fridge still sealed. but yesterday, i opened it and found that it has expired, with white fungus all over it! what a pity... so took this pic b4 throwing it away. but i still kept the metal casing tho'. good for keeping CDs!
have just created a new blog, "my books", abt some of the good books i've read and wish to share with ppl. i've been wanting to contribute something to the book sharing section in our acad K's newletter for so long... but have been putting it off until now. so this is my first contribution, n hopefully there will be more to come! i've wanted to put a link to my books section in my sidebar, but i dunno how to create a button for it. so anyone wishing to view it, u'd just have to click on my profile and scroll to the bottom. or u can just bookmark it.
my fren in US, lotsachi, pointed me to her fren's blog, "of memoirs and musings" and i was really impressed by her writing! the first time i went to her site, i was like 'WOW'... go have a look when u have time. i think this gal is extremely talented, not only in her writings, but also in photography! n lotsachi told me she can act very well too! multi-talented gal lar... below is a poem i 'stole' from her blog that i'd like to share with u, with her permission of course! i think this poem is something most of us can relate to, we all feel this way at one point or other in our lives.
Just one of those bloody days
When you thought it would feel better to swear
only to feel worse when you do
When you regret letting words fly in anger
though you knew that such damage cannot wholly be undone
When you feel like shutting up and caring less
for the world seems to tire of you these days
Alas, my conscience can only suffer this much
Just one of those wretched days
When you wish your heart could no longer feel
so that you are spared the hurt and pain
When you think that having a sensitive nature
is seriously heavens' little joke on you
When you want to just give up
analyzing and deconstructing that thing called love
Alas, my heart can only take this much
Just one of those forsaken days
When you wonder could it just be you having PMS
or that no one told you it was Global PMS Week
When your spirits feel the weight of living
and lightness of the heart does not come easy
When your Chance cards run out
and your guardian angel's gone on extended vacation
Alas, my patience can only stretch this much
Just one of those tired days
When you go round and round in circles
or that you can't take a step forward nor a step back
When your mindless life feels like
brush-teeth water swirling down the toilet sink
When you don't think it is scary
to wish you went to asleep and never to awake
Alas my body can only support this much
Just one of those solemn days
When you lie awake with bittersweet insomnia
seeking solace in marathon Jay therapy sessions
When you long for the simplicity of days gone by
among rubber trees, monitor lizards and bikes with no brakes
When you cover your tear-stained face and finally close your eyes
to pray that tomorrow could just be a tad bit kinder
and that someone still hears your heart's whispers
for alas, my soul can only bear this much
now, i can NEVER write like that... i'm not that creative with words. so now u see how i'm in the wrong field? so pai-seh to call myself a 'copywriter'... should change that to 'kopi maker'! and i can't make a decent cup of coffee other than those 3-in-1 things! *sigh...
gosh... what an xmas! with the devastating scenes from the earthquake everywhere u look, one can't help but feel really down. my good fren, N, sms-ed me that her mom's whole village at teluk intan had to be evacuated. of course, her mom is now in kl, but all her uncles are there. it's a fishing village by the sea, and when the tidal waves struck, all the fishing boats were gone in just one sweep! and their houses were destroyed and they lost everything! hmm... it'll be a bleak new year and chinese new year for many this year.
well, with the death toll, damages and calamities brought on by this disaster, it may seem pretty selfish of me to mope abt all the internet restrictions imposed by my company IT manager. but i still feel like moping. really no mood to work today. he might as well remove all our internet privileges, since we can't go to any sites worth surfing. even those sites that has not been blocked are so slow to load. so stupid. made the whole thing so slow...
hmm... i think from now on, i'll be blogging less coz the only time i have to waste is in the office. i'm very bz at home, so i can't be logging in every night to blog. *sigh... so sien.
shucks! my company's IT manager found out that we've been using the webmessenger as substitute for msn... so since yesterday afternoon, we've been having trouble logging in. looks like he's banned webmessenger as well... our only hope!!! gosh, that really sucks! 
not only that. along with the webmessenger, we can't seem to access some other sites as well... i can't even access my blog!!! now that really sucks big time! so from now on, no more blogging from the office. hmm... n mostly i'm very lazy to log-on to the internet from home with my oh-so-slow dial-up, not to mention not much time at home. *sigh...
life's a bitch!
unless of course, i can persuade him to open up this site, along with my photo hosting site n the doodle-board. hmm...
n as usual, the highlight of such events is the lucky draw! hehehe... we were fortunate to not only have enough presies for everyone, but we get to draw 2 prizes!
in the afternoon, i drew a (compaq) ipaq personal mini-cd player! it's among the most coveted prizes... hmm... but i dun have much use for it ler. not really the kind of walkman/discman totting gal. 
then at nite during the dinner proper, i drew an electronic cake mixer! gosh, i should've waited until this weekend to make my cake! then my hand won't become cramped from all those manual stirring n mixing... hahaha... i know biow is laughing at me now, coz before i started making the cake, she did warned me abt the stirring n mixing part... but i assured her that i can do it manually. 
but i think getting this mixer is not that great lar... mom oredi has a mixer which she doesn't use anymore... i can always get it from her if i wanna continue baking. hmm... but then again, at least it's better than getitng those 'yu yan sang' chicken essence or mushroom.
also, during the annual dinner, my group won a food hamper for getting first prize in the games. hehehe... which group won't win with ME as the team member? kekeke... actually, i'm supposed to be one of the working com for this annual dinner + christmas celebration, coz it's under my dept's 'jurisdiction'. but my hr manager decided that i should join in the games, coz being the active (in other words 'noisy') gal that i am, i would set the whole atmosphere for the nite to be fun. 
joy, peace n happiness to the world! merry christmas!!
made my first cake the other day... hehehe... note that i said 'made' and not 'baked', coz it's a non-bake version! anyway, it's a choc chip oreos cheese cake! really rich n sinful! kekeke... but i gotta say, it tasted pretty good for a novice!
anyway, some of u may ask: "y suddenly wanna make cake?"... "make cake for who?" i know some of u may even be thinking i have a new bf hidden away n i'm making the cake to impress him! HA! wrong! truth is, i've always wanted to try my hands at baking... but have not gotten round to it (like so many other things i wanna do!)
then thanks to biow and my fren N, who supplied me with the recipe, tips and advices... i finally did it! but it's not as easy as they said it would be... maybe coz i dun have all those baking 'gadgets'. did it all with a whisk, which made my hands cramped from all those stirring n mixing... below are some pics... presentation not that nice tho'.
view from top... with the crushed oreos as garnishings...
side view... i was afraid to slide the cake off from the aluminium pan... so i just cut out the sides around the cake, just left the bottom part at below.
cut out view... can see the biji-biji of choc chips inside? fattening man!! hehehe...
hmm... some time ago, i posted my digital piano on the ebay.com.my for RM3k. then the other day, someone contacted me abt it... the first fishy thing abt it is, he didn't bid on ebay, but straight away offer me a higher price. here's his e-mail:
Hello,
Am Kollins Joe from a nearby country(Singapore), am a seller as well which I have agent in some neighbourhood countries like China,Japan,and also in Europe like England,Spain and also in some small African Counties like Ghana,Gabon and likely in Nigeria.Am interested in buying this item of yours as a Christmas gift for some of my crucial agent in Africa(Nigeria),but before I do so I will like to know the condition of this item and also telling you that I can afford to pay you MYR4000 if you are ready and willing to sell for me I will be paying through Bidpay or western union money order because they deals with taking huge amount of money directly to the seller at home. So I will like to know your mind on this because I will be making the payment quickly once my offer is accepted and I will also be handling the shippment by myself because I have an account with one of the courier service(Fedex).Awaiting your quick response.
Regards,
Kollins Joe
actually, this was his 2nd e-mail to me. his first was exactly the same, but with the price quoted at RM4500. anyway, here's my reply:
hello,
i noticed that u quoted a different price here from your previous mail (dated 1st dec).
as for the condition of the item, it's only 1 year old and still very brand new.
if you are still interested, kindly close the deal as soon as possible as another person has contacted me abt it.
his reply:
Hello,
I have been looking forward for your response since about the selling of your piano. I am glad to hear from you that I am the highest bider for your item, so I have to purchase this item if only you are willing to sell in the next 3 business days and also I should send you the payment directly so I don't want to us to waste much time on this transaction again.
I will like to inform you that my method of payment will be through Western Union Money Order/Bidpay because it is the best method of payment which I normarlly used with most of the sellers and also it is safed and guaranteed because your money will be post directly to your home without you paying any addional or handling fees before collection.
I will also like to inform you that I will be responsible for the shippment of the item,so as far as the payment is cleared I will instruct my courier service(Fedex) to come over to your home for the collection of the items but before they do so, I will have to send you some crucial shipping document which you will need to print out directly from your email box and paste on the package before the Fedex officer arrival.And also you don't need to pay for the courier service, I will be responsible for that.
All I need is your full name, contact address so that I will be able to make the payment asap.As soon as the payment has been made by me you will receive a pending mail confirmation from the Western Union Money Order Service/Bidpay service indicating that the money has been made and it is in transit for delivery and after that probably withing some few hours you will receive the approval mail from them signifying that the payment has been approved so you most proceed with the shippment.
I will like to ask for a favour from you and it is just that I will not be able to wait for the payment to be approved because this transaction has been late already, so I want you to release the item to the courier service once you get the pending confirmation email because i am sending this item as a christmas gift to one of my crucial agent in Africa. Awaiting your good response on this.
Kollins Joe
getting fishier... my reply:
hello,
thanks for the prompt reply. but in your mail, you didn't mention about the price. so which is the agreed upon price? RM4500?
as i'm not familiar with the payment methods of Western Union Money Order/Bidpay, i think it'll be better if i wait for the payment to be approved, since you said it's only within a few hours. will that be alright?
one more thing that i should ask. seeing that it's a piano, i have some concerns about the packaging... how should i get the piano ready for the courier service personnels? or would it be ok to just leave the piano as it is and the courier people would know what to do with it?
my full name and address is as follow:
(Full name)
(Address)
his reply:
was being called for an interview... supposed to be at 2.50pm today... but i rejected it. hmm... dunno if i did right.
it was at Nilai College, see... actually, the only reason i wanna leave this current company is the low salary. so if they kenot offer me my expected salary, then i think there's no point for me to uproot myself from kl n move all the way to nilai. even if they offer me higher than my current pay, but lower than my expected one, i dun think it's worth it. and all the way to nilai!
so yesterday i called them up to tell them that i'll give it a pass. the hr gal, joanne, was very nice... she was like trying to persuade me to go and take a look at the place, tho i stressed on the salary part. she also said they'll really like to get to know me and asked me to just attend the interview b4 making any decision. i think they were attracted to my cv, coz in their ad, they wrote that some experience in event management would be an added advantage. and that's exactly what i have, on top of my main job functions.
hmm... but i said that there's no point for me to go if they dun have that kind of allocations for my position. at last she asked if my expected salary is negotiable. i said no, coz that's the one and only reason i wanna leave, as i'm quite comfy in my current company. she said actually the decision rests on the board and not her. but she kept trying to get me to attend the interview, but i said no lar. y wanna take emergency leave and drive all the way there when i know i won't be interested in what they are offering?
now i'm not sure abt my desicion and if i'm letting go an opportunity for me to upgrade myself. i mean, what if this is the answer to my prayers? after all, i did pray for a satisfying job... and i didn't specify WHERE. hmm...
still... it's NILAI. dun get me wrong... it's as good a place as any other. i'm not looking down on the place or anything. i was just thinking abt my life here in kl. it's not that i have much of a life here, but at least i'll have places to go when i do feel like going out. and at least i have friends in kl. if i'm tucked away in nilai, i won't even be able to continue my skating!
ok ok... i'll just forget abt it. there's no turning back now, so no use regreting it. but one still wonders if it was a lost opportunity.....
got a call from one of the persons-in-charge from the Renaissance Choir yesterday... coz i've been missing too many practices. *sigh... have been so bogged down by work n stuff that i just can't find time to go. hmm...
actually, now i wonder if i was too rash in getting myself involved in so many things all at once. i'm so tired all the time! tiredness is like a perpetual shadow for me... *sigh...
anyway, the choir PIC asked me if anything was wrong and if she'd be seeing me at practice anytime soon... frankly, at that very moment, i felt like telling her that i really can't commit and wish out, that i made a big mistake by thinking that i could, when in actual sense i can't.
even for sunday practices, i'd feel too tired to go. normally i'd stay up until the wee hours of sunday to finish up my work, usually sleeping only at 4-5 am. that's y i'm always MIA.
but then i thought of M, who so painstakingly helped me get an audition... i'll feel so guilty! n she'll think i am not serious and was just playing ard... *sigh... how ar?
hi ppl. looks like xmas mood is here... an early christmas wish to everyone!
neeways eugene, i think most of us feel that way... after a few years in the working world, we'll be a little lost. working is so different from studying. in uni, our lives are marked with assignments, exams, semesters, practices etc. but once we step into the working world, it's all flat day in day out. that's y after sometime, we'll begin to ask ourselves, "gosh, what m i doing? where is my life going?" they dun teach us how to deal with this in uni, but it still haunts us...
p/s:
1) dun ask me how to deal with it, i'm still lost! kekeke... :Þ
2) it's called Cyberview Lodge
in reply to:
(excertp) "The Choir will be going to Sabah next January, and I may be quitting my new job at the end of the month/year...very disillusioned now....just don't know what to do with my life now. Choir members, former and present ones, if you people do believe in God, please remember me in your prayers....
Speaking of carolling, some of the Choir members will be singing on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day itself at the Cyberlodge something....
another monday... YAWN!!! still tired... panda eyes getting darker. hopefully it'll not become a permanent thing that no amount of eye gel/cream can remedy... *sigh...
hmm... i wonder if sk-ii is really as great as advertised? tried their mask once, really soothing and nice. but i've heard the amount of pitera used in their products is really harmful to our skin and once we stop using it, our skin will age really fast. so means we'll have to keep using it for the rest of our lives in order to maintain our youthful looks? pokkai lar, like that... no wonder bloody sk-ii is making such big bucks!
neeways... seeing that it's dec, many ppl are talking abt new year's resolutions n stuff... to tell the truth, i've stopped making any new year's resolutions years ago. coz dun seem to be able to keep them... maybe just the first few months lar, then will get sien with it... kekeke... i'm a sucker in keeping resolutions.
but i guess one needs to have some sort of resolution, just to keep tract of our progress in life... will stack up my pillows high-high tonight n ponder abt this issue... gosh, i'm anticipating a big headache tonight!
hehehe... now on my bro's pc, trying out his new broadband... dem fast man! hmm... hopefully this blog dun leave any trace on his pc... won't want him to be nosing ard!
came back today, will be going back to kl tomorrow. spend the whole day arranging and re-arranging all the photos my bro n i took during our hk trip into 2 big albums. then at night, went to Jonker Walk with mom n dad... wow! that place is really happening! they have lotsa things there, including china-made stuff. n pretty cheap too! i told my mom we shouldn't have bought anything from china lar... after coming back, we should've just gone to Jonker Walk and buy all those china-made stuff as souvenirs for our friends! kekeke...
hmm... been talking to my fren, Biow... she's been lamenting to me abt not being able to find anyone in singapore to call a friend. there just don't seem to be any 'kindred spirit' anywhere! so cham...
well, i guess everyone of us are always searching... Biow's searching for a true friend, someone she can be chummy-chummy with, talk on the phone for hours, go for coffee n shopping, share recipes... then my friend Mico, she's looking for a job. her bond with her current company would be ending soon and she wants to move on.
me? hmm... i think i'm searching for a lot of things. but currently, that thing would be a better-paying job that'll not only give me financial satisfaction, but also job satisfaction.
well, some ppl think i should be looking for one other thing, that is a special someone... i guess i should too. like i told Biow, it's not that i'm worried abt my single-hood or anything. i'm perfectly comfy with that. it's just that sometimes it'll really be nice to have someone. i am after all, a gal. and i believe, no matter how strong and confident a gal is on the outside, she'll have moments when she feels down, vulnerable, small, ugly, not appreciated, invisible, etc... she'll still need someone to pamper n love her.
but in the mean time, i'm really thankful for my frens... they're always there for me and are always ready to listen when i need my bitching sessions... kekeke... hey, b4 anyone start looking at me something weird, the bitching i mean here is some sharing and talking and just letting everything out... we're all venusians and bitching is something all venusians need to lift us out from our depths of despair.
been so lazy lately... *sigh... dun feel like doing any work. getting so sick of my work. so tired...
sometimes i'll ask myself if it's really worth it. all my time, effort, energy, not to mention my lost sleep! and it's making me look so haggard and ah mah-like... *sigh...
how nice it would be if after getting home, i'll be able to maybe watch some vcd or read... or just laze around, go for a swim... or go out whenever i feel like it, without having to worry abt my unfinished work?
and sad to say, i've been missing choir practices for weeks! i'm really behind in my work, but i just can't seem to finish them! it's really getting overwhelming...
i wonder for how long i'll have to live like this...
i finally managed to get hold of my fren J... it turned out he didn't get any of my sms, so have no idea wat's going on. anyway, when i told him everything abt Sam, he said he didn't promise him anything abt us bearing the cost of transportation... he merely said that we'll help him arrange for transportation, coz Sam said he can't possibly come down to fetch it up to penang himself. maybe Sam misunderstood J and thought we'll cover the cost as well?
anyway, i have another good news!!! just found out that it was announced in our company's HOD meeting yesterday that we'll be getting bonus after all!!! hooray!!! tho' it won't be like my previous company's fixed 2 months, but at least it's something... and also, we'll be getting our 2nd n 3rd quarters' staff incentive together, due in late dec or early jan. now isn't that something?? so happy... will be going to see abt my skates after practice this fri, to get my fittings and stuff. tho' i won't rush into buying it yet, coz the piano is not confirmed sold yet. still have to keep my promise... *sigh...
but this extra money would really come in handy. i'll be able to give my mom more for cny, buy my dad a shirt (as a token of appreciation for his sponsorship in my hk trip), give my MAE (my car lar) a spray job... and have a little leftover for savings! kekeke... have started to save, put away a tiny percentage of my income into a seperate bank. tho' i think it's still too little and i should be putting away a bigger percentage, but it'll be a good start lar... would work harder next year!
i've promised a fren that i'd only think abt buying my skating boots if i sell off my digital piano successfully... it's not that i dun THINK abt it everyday... what i mean is consider buying it lar.
then yesterday, a guy named Sam called me to enquire abt my piano (hooray!!!). another fren, J helped me advertised it in the internet and this Sam saw it. but i was really stupid lar... *sigh...
actually, this Sam contacted me months ago; he's looking for a piano for his daughter. at that time, i told him that the piano is going for RM4K (J advertised it for RM4.3k!). so this Sam said he'll have to come down to KL (he's from Penang) to have a look at it b4 making any decision. so i said ok, and would wait for his call to make arrangements for him to view the thing. but he didn't call me again, so i thought he lost interest or has found another piano for his daughter.
after quite some time without anyone showing interest for my advert, i thought maybe the price i quoted is too high (as told to me by some of my frens). so i turun harga n told everyone that i'm letting it go at RM3k.
but yesterday, this Sam called me again and asked if i've sold it. i said no. then he asked me how much would i be selling it... i didn't think and stupidly told him RM3k!!! OMG!!! dem stupid man! can't believe myself!!! my sales skills really sucks, man!
then Sam asked abt the transportation and also expressed his anxiety for the piano, if it'll withstand the journey... when i hesitated (by saying: "erm... transportation ar?..."), he told me that J said the transportation would be no problem (he contacted J first b4 calling me last time. it was J who asked him to call me directly). J is into sourcing n buying n selling, so he has a lot of contacts in that area. last time when i asked him, he said he'll help me arrange everything. but problem is, now J is not to be found! i think he's gone overseas or something... anyway, when Sam mentioned that J said transportation would not be a problem, isn't he implying that i should bear the cost for it?
so i called up the professional piano mover n enquired abt sending the piano up to penang... they said it's abt RM800 per trip, but if i'm willing to wait and share the trip (meaning let my piano share the lorry with other pianos), then it'll be ard RM350-400. shucks!
so now i'm thinking of telling Sam that i memang wanted to let it go at 3k and the reason J put it up for 4.3k was because he said he'll handle all the transportation for me. but now he's not in the country, so i have to handle everything. then maybe ask Sam if he's willing to bear half of the transportation cost with me... hmm... if half of the cost, it's only RM200 mar... dunno if he'll agree...
really really hope this deal will go thru... praying hard!
this is how my 'white elephant' looks like:
hehehe... went to midvalley after work on sat... had sushi for lunch! so nice... then did a little shopping... bought myself 3 books from mph. been so long since i got myself new books... then saw something that's perfect for my good fren, N's birthday. it's a little piggy, really cute n squashy!
well... u can't really tell how cute n squashy it is just by looking at it... u'll have to actually hold it and squeeze it! the outer material is so soft and inside, it's made up of zillions of tiny beanies. so cute!!! i can't help smilling every time i think of it! hehehe... in fact, it's so cute, that i really couldn't resist... so... i erm... i got one for myself too! 
kekeke... so happy! 
i'm naming mine 'curly', not after that 3 stooges character, but coz it has a really cute n curly tail!
so now tao-tao has a new fren. but my bed is getting way too cluttered! kekeke... there's tao-tao and my hug pillow... and now curly! so happy!
piggy in a box! also got a box for the other piggy... should i get some ribbons for it as well? hmm... but her b'day is on the 20th, so long still... can't wait to give it to her!
i want my skating boots!!! *sigh...
as my regulars here would know, i'm feeling rather restless lately... depressed... lost... been thinking a lot abt what i'm actually doing with my life... but no conclusion... *sigh...
think i'll go to midvalley later n indulge myself a little. it is after all the festive season... hey, i'm not looking for excuses to pamper myself, ok? i've been controlling n depriving myself for so long that i think a reward is quite appropriate.
more yawn!! so sleeeeepppyyyy... been hard at work this whole week, until the wee hours of the night. i'm really behind in my work, so have to catch up lor. so kesian... tgif!
and looking forward to my skating lessons later. hehehe... so happy. it's like the highlight of the week for me. so pathetic hor? *sigh...
neeways, for those wondering if i've gotten my skating boots... the answer is nope. i'm still utilizing the free, uncomfortable and unhygienic skates provided by the rink. *sigh... if only my company is giving us bonus this year... *double sigh... aiya, but even if they're giving, i won't expect too much. *triple sigh...
yep! u guessed it! still down over the bonus thingy... kekekekekee...
my clgs n i are predicting that we won't be getting any bonus again this year. *sigh... that's the 2nd year for me, and the 3rd year for my clg. stupid company! it's not like they're not making any profit. that's the worse part! why am i putting up with this? *sigh...
my fren was trying to console me by asking me to look at all the good things abt my company, eg: monthly staff gathering with catered food, company trip, annual dinner, staff incentive... her company, a big name with MSC status in m'sia, gives out 3 types of bonuses every year, with the year-end bonus a fixed 2 months. but they dun have any monthly staff gathering, company trip or even annual dinner, tho' they get better medical benefits. she said if i add up all those things my company is giving us, it's the same as giving us bonus. but can all these justify the absence of bonus? *sigh...
so disheartened...
