Thursday, September 29, 2005

birds of a feather...

well, contrary to the famous proverb, i believe that ppl in a group tend to influence one another to act/think alike. but of course, we'll need to click with one another to allow us to be in a group in the first place. so is this a chicken and egg thing? dun think so...

being good friends with N has influenced me to go for certain brands of clothing of certain style, think in a certain way on some issues, like certain stuff, eat certain food, etc... of course, there are some things which can't be influenced to my preference, such as those pointy buaya shoes that seems to be so 'in' now, or clothes in bright shout-out colours!

on my part, i think my biggest influence on N is the love to read. being chinese educated, N tends to find reading english books a bit of a chore. so i got her started on true life accounts, mainly on chinese ppl. the first book i intro to her was Falling Leaves by Adeline Yen Mah. after that, it wasn't hard to get her to go on reading, coz she was hooked! soon, she's 'graduated' to reading tales of women in the middle east and real police murder cases. now, she's even started to recommend books to me! but she only wants to stick to true life accounts... and for a bookworm who devours most of everything, life is pretty lonely beyond the non-fiction aisle.

along with reading, N has started to be more appreciative of the english language. she loves to use words she's just acquired such as brusque instead of blunt, enquire instead of ask etc and will bug me to death with words which she's just learnt but has forgotten.
N: what's that word for dun care?
me: huh? erm... unconcerned?
N: no no... non- something.
me: erm... indifference?
N: nolar, that's in-. non-something... as in 'he gave a non-something shrug'
me: *furrowed eye-brows, thinking hard* erm... nonchalant?
N: yes, that's it! *proceeds to make different sentences with the word*

she'll also be very curious about some phrases, wanting to know y it's used in a certain way.
N: y 'from the bottom of my pencil case'?? i dun understand...
me: erm... i also dunno lar. that's just the way the english say it.
N: i know, but y? the only things at the bottom of my pencil case are pencil shavings and paper clips and broken pencil leads. y not just say 'from the bottom of my heart'?
me: *looking helpless*

just yesterday, had a leaning-on-the-wall laugh (coz it was in a shopping mall, can't have a rolling-on-the-floor laugh) when N exclaimed rather loudly, "aiyo, these earings here... not the cup of my tea lah!"

Sunday, September 25, 2005

found again

it was lost
and i mourned
regret that it should be so
regret that i should lose it

it was not my doing
it just got lost
i'm sorry
and i cried

maybe i didn't want to find it
maybe i was glad
to savour the loss
to wallow in self-pity

never thought i'd feel it again
never thought it'd come back
but it crept up on me again
tho' i never wanted it to

the stomach flip-flops
of sweet anticipation
the anxiety of uncertainties
am wiser now

it's back
tho' different
still the same
but will it stay?

Friday, September 23, 2005

fire drill

have not experienced a fire drill since i joined this company, so gotta admit it was kinda exciting this morning, coz they really do it big around here. but too bad, i was having a departmental breakfast meeting at starbucks at the time, so i missed the 'panic' of walking down the stairs! *phew*

anyway, i must say this is the biggest fire drill i've ever experienced in terms of scale. firefighters, police squads and ambulances, not to mention safety officers and first aid teams were everywhere! and the people! i think we filled up 1/2 of the KLCC park... well, that's not really surprising, coz it involved all 5k or so staff from both towers. but i bet we created quite a sensation among shoppers in the Suria coz i was approached by 2 ppl, asking me what happened (maybe coz i was holding the placard showing my tower and level on the way back to the office) kekeke... neeways, everything went in quite an organized way, with everyone knowing what they were doing and the rest of us being steered like obedient sheeps to our own designated spots. well, luckily it wasn't particularly sunny today, tho' we still sweated like pigs despite all the mineral water distributed.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

just so stuff...

too lazy to think in paragraph, so here are things in point form:

1. tired from training whole day yesterday n today. tomorrow another day! *groan*
2. left hand finger tips numb from cello playing, while right arm sore from bow pulling and getting the pressure n angles right
3. getting way too many sms from K... a bit fishy...
4. waiting anxiously for payday (and it's only middle of the month!)
5. still spooked out by Henry in 'Buried Secret of M. Night Shyamalan'. *note: those with astro, look out for it in HBO the next few days (not sure what day). really spooky!
6. dread going back to work on thurs - m sure will have mountains of work waiting...
7. what to wear tomorrow? looks like time to bring out the damned iron...
8. working out the best time for cello practice so as not to provoke annoyed neighbours from making complains to management/throwing rotten eggs at my front door

Friday, September 16, 2005

new toy...

stargal: meet the new cellist in town! orchestra practice tonight.
N: wow... but u sure that's what u want? u thought about it properly already?
stargal: i want it so badly i could cry.
N: ok, if that's what u really want, ganbatte! learn/practice hard, then one day we can do a duet!
stargal: haha... yeah, one day... u ganbatte too! i dun like to duet with poor violinists wan... :Þ

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Monday, September 12, 2005

points to ponder

life sucks anyway
think of it, no one gets out alive
everybody dies in the end...
~ a friend

Thursday, September 08, 2005

broken pieces

yesterday, you reinforced my conviction
i really mean nothing to you
however much i wanted to hurt you with my words
i know it's all useless against the unfeeling you
you talked about forgiveness
but i can never feel that for you
i'm only human
i'm more a believer of karma
the unforgiving law of cause and effect
be sure of it, it'll come back to you eventually
what goes around, comes around
i'm just dying with impatience
for the divine intervention to manifest itself upon you
pray i'll be there to witness it
but you want to talk about Jesus Christ?
i can talk Jesus Christ with you
even He would not forgive a sinner who do not repent
they only burn in hell
just saying sorry doesn't mean you're sorry
and i'm only human
or maybe you want to see it scientifically?
ask Albert and he'll tell you:
"For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction"
do not compare me to her
i am who i am
i feel differently from her
i love differently from her
i hate differently from her
and what affected me, affected me differently from her
if i am just like her, i'd be her clone
i'm sure even her twin is not exactly like her
so do not look at me with the same eye as you do her
yes, i have my expectations
what is so wrong in having expectations?
what is so wrong in hoping?
what is so wrong in living passionately?
what is so wrong in putting our whole heart into it?
yes, we fall harder
but the view while soaring is spectacular
would it suffice to just lead a mediocre life?
missing the highs in our effort to avoid the lows?
and yes, i'm weak
but that is not your problem anymore
i would never let you off the hook
in believing that everything's ok in the end
or the harm you did wasn't all that bad
can something broken be whole again?
i will always hold it against you
you owe it to me
this life and the next
lifetime after lifetime
remember this to your dying day
- you ruined me

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

The Rainbow Connection

got this from t... nice song! amazing how a children's prog can be so educational even for adults...


Why are there so many songs about rainbows
and what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
and rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it.
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

Who said that every wish would be heard
and answered when wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that and someone believed it.
Look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us star gazing
and what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

All of us under its spell.
We know that it's probably magic.

Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that called the young sailors.
The voice might be one and the same.
I've heard it too many times to ignore it.
It's something that I'm supposed to be.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.
~ The Rainbow Connection, sang by Kermit the Frog

Tuesday, September 06, 2005


that was my stomach... counting the seconds to lunch! urgh... y must lunch be at 1pm? a bit stupid, clock-in time at 8 and lunch time at 1 - early breakfast n late lunch. but it's not like lunch is anything to look forward to... today it's bee hoon goreng sejuk. but what to do, it's only RM1. so kenot complain too much. 1 more hour to go. think will munch on biscuits...

Sunday, September 04, 2005

weekend meet-ups

met up with some strangers this weekend. hehehe... strangers, but good friends! been chatting with YH for nearly 4 years, and so far, met only twice (including the past weekend). as for T, she was a friend of YH and he started us off with chatting, then when my ex-company banned messengers, we moved on to e-mails and sms. have not met T in our 2 years plus of communication... so when YH said he'll be home (from HK), we thought it'll be a good idea to meet up. hmm... it was a bit kekok, but i guess that's how it is with first meetings...

T turned out to be quite a leng-lui!


on sunday, went to have lunch with my ex-boss from my first company, a japanese. he's always coming here for vacation every year around this time. this really cute 'sweeties' is from him, came in a really nice japanese box!

Thursday, September 01, 2005

can't sit still

it's confirmed! i can never make a good housewife. i'm too restless to be able to sit at home with only house cleaning, cooking and hongkong/japanese/korean drama series to occupy my time. and i dun even cook!

take my weekends... even tho' i've so much to do on weekends, stuff that i normally won't have time for on weekdays such as sleep, clean room/house, iron clothes, clock in more freelance work etc, still i'm always itching to go out! and then after coming back, i'd realized (only too late) that i've not enough time for my chores and will wallow in self-pity and wish that i have spent more time at home. *sigh...

and i think if i were to work from home, i'd only get lazy. with no official working time, i'd most prob wake up at 12 and sleep at 5am! (*note to self: think of this point when waking up for work everyday, instead of cursing the management for setting the clock-in time so early)

hmm... so guess i'll be stuck in the rat race for the rest of my life. unless of course, i marry a really filthy rich husband. then i won't have to go to work OR stay at home the whole day. i'll be on shopping sprees all over the world! kekeke... *dreaming*

anyway, thinking of taking up music again, coz have been... well, restless. and have always regretted not following thru with the various instruments i've taken up in the past. hmm... what shall i play this time? have always liked the cello............ *thinking*