that round funny furry thing

strange, but whenever i see a kiwifruit, i would always think of my spm days, thanks to dear ole dad. this is becoz just prior to my first paper, dad bought a whole fridgefuls of kiwifruits and bottles of brand's essence of chicken for my daily consumption. no one was allowed to touch them other than me! mom teased that dad seemed more nervous than me, as if i'm sitting for the government official exam (of ancient china).

now, before anyone goes aaawwwww, let me tell you about the sense of dread those darn kiwifruits gave me! the deep guilt in the pits of my stomach for leading my parents to think that i'm ready, when all these while i've been doing nothing but play. the onset of panic when i suddenly realised how near those exams were, how far behind i was in my revisions and how little time i have left to catch up! the kind of feeling when we know that nothing, absolutely NOTHING can be done now, save some devine intervention. and i can't possibly tell dad, "erm dad, you can just return those to the shops, coz it won't do any good. i'm still gonna flop", now can i? so all i could do was just stuff those green black-seeded flesh into my mouth and pray they'll somehow be transformed into some wisdom juice, coz i knew there're no hope for much knowledge to be embedded into my head now. and however sweet those fruits were, i only tasted the bitter dread, as well as my parents' overwhelming hope and their eventual disappointment.

i can't believe after all these years, i still have a weird aftertaste whenever i eat those brown furry fruits. or how the very sight of them would transform me back to those days for a very brief microsecond. it's funny how these things scar u for life...

* in case anyone's wondering, i didn't fare that badly in my spm lar. nothing great, but not life-threateningly bad. maybe those prayers really did helped. and i played even harder in my stpm! luckily no more kiwifruits!
** but how come brand's essence of chicken dun have that kind of effect on me?

klang music fest - a musical odyssey

some pics from the 4 day music fest (note: dun be puzzled with the different hairstyles n clothes, coz remember, it's 4 days. i just combined everything and arranged it as if chronologically)

warming-up and last minute practices


battle cry... or the 'pangsai yell' from this post


with R (the aforementioned japanese gal in past post), waiting for our turn to perform


with R and J. J's our klang 'baby-sitter' for the whole duration of the music fest


the cello gang


gco players at entrance B, basically the violists, cellists, bassists n brass players (entrance A are violinists n wind players)


gco with klang RC (entrance B)


cellists from 2 worlds... with cellists from klang chinese orchestra


when east meets west... gco with klang chinese orchestra


split-toed socks! in a moment of boredom, R took this. obviously, the bigger one's mine!


finale! those hawaii-shirts behind are feiyang (previously known as BBKK)

*aside: notice that patch of handiplast on my hand? that's my 'souvenir' from my futsal game. fell flat down after tripping on the leg of an opponent... so embarrassing! anyway, it's an awfully big gash, and stings like hell too! oh, and i also sprained my knee. sheesh! luckily we won!
**totally unrelated aside: OMG! mom's coming for state-rep meet this weekend. which means she'll see my wound and that means nagging!!!

the 3 leng-luis of bass section! hehehe...


everybody squeeze in! finales are always such high affairs...


packing up time. the 3 bass gals again...


post-performance supper...


finally, a family photo to commemorate the event!

unrelated stuff

1) meebo with its latest features is not IE compatible anymore!! arghhhhh!!!! have been out of the scene for nearly 2 weeks now. so frustrating not to be able to connect with my online friends! m so dying to bitch abt the latest loser in my life.

2) i'm so pear-shaped i'm practically a walking upright triangle!! shopping for clothes is a very disheartening affair.

3) y is it i'm only attracting the wrong ones all the time??? a lecturer once said, "we need to meet the losers first to be able to appreciate the right one later on". but i swear i've met my fair share of losers now. more than is fair! so bring on mr. right! i swear i'll appreciate him, really.

4) am beginning to get tired with my job. time to hop? but to where? n what is it that i can do??

5) y must the company friendly match be on a saturday morning??? how m i going to sleep in??

stargal: tmr i have futsal ler... so sien. company having friendly match with the company next door. so boh-pien, need to go. hope i dun get kicked in the shin! *sigh...
t: futsal? great!! mixture of gal/guy in one team? maybe u wil meet the guy next door ler.. mana tahu o! kkekeke...
stargal: not mix lar... u must remember that my company is 99% malay populated. how can mix??? siao ar? kekeke... guy next door? u mean uncles next door! n again, also 99% malay populated. i'm only going for the doorgift and (hopefully) the prizes.

6) i wanna go home!!! have not been home since cny. ok, i know that's not long, but it's my personal longest staying away. *sniff*

7) need to get my wisdom tooth out. not 1, but 2, at the same time! *shudder* now need to plan when i wanna do it.

PPA for whole day???

have just been scrutinized and shreded to pieces by manager for my appraisal today. so excuse me people, while i go hang myself.

update: just found out that i'm now the record holder for the longest PPA session in the company. *sigh...

a musical odyssey

pre-music fest (in Klang) pep talk

A: (after the usual encouragement) let's have a yell like we always do before any performances. everyone make a circle and put their hands in the middle...
B: "GCO, yeah!"?
C: always also say that. y not we say something else?
A: ok, what to say?
C: G major!
rest of us: hahaha...
B: ok, G major is good! so it's "G major, yeah!"?
C: since R (japanese gal) is here, let's use 'banzai' for her sake.
A: ok ok. so it's "G major, pangsai!" One, t... (voice drowned out by shrieks of mad laughter)

close call?

i was out cycling one day when i was stopped by a 40-ish malay guy on a motorbike. having attended one pendidikan moral class too many, i naively thought he was going to ask for directions, which was y i stopped to his beckoning.

malay guy: ah moy, mari ikut saya. ada seorang budak perempuan pakai baju seragam di belakang pokok besar situ (pointing to the big 'datuk-kong' tree somewhere in the swampy area in front of my house)
me: huh?
malay guy: mari ikut saya pergi tengok. tengok itu kawan awak atau bukan.
me: um, ok.
malay guy: ah moy ikut saya ar...
me: ok.

he then rode off in his motorbike towards the lane that led into the swampy area, with me following behind on my bike. but suddenly it hit me (i know i was a bit slow to realize it so late) that maybe he's a bad guy and is actually trying to lure me into the swampy area! *panic!* still following him, my mind started spinning. what if what he said is true? if i don't go to the girl's aid and she died, it would be all my fault. but what if it's a lie? if i follow him and something bad happened, i'd be the stupidest girl in melaka!

by now, he's gotten some distance in front of me. as luck would have it, we had to pass my house to get to that lane. when he reached the mouth of the lane, he glanced back one last time to make sure that i'm still following, and then turned to disappear into the overgrown bushy lane. i was still deliberating if i should really follow him and in a few seconds, would have gone past my house. glancing at my house to my left, i saw that the front gate was wide open as usual. in a moment of clarity, i thought to myself, "ah, to hell with the girl. it's too big a risk to take." and turned my bike handle towards my house.

my heart was still beating wildly when i peaked out the window (thank god for tinted glasses!) to see that same malay guy riding past my house (in the opposite direction from the swap area), looking left and right searching for me.

even tho' it's been abt 20 years (gosh, has it really been that long?), i still think abt that incident occasionally, especially when i read abt rape n murder cases in the newpapers. and i still shudder at the thought of how close i was to being in the news.

p/s: funnily enough, i've not told anyone abt this, not even my parents. maybe it's just too scary to bring up. or maybe i didn't want my parents to worry unnecessarily (since nothing happened).

and i'm not sure y i'm blogging abt it now.

something stupider!

latest developments from previous post, seems that someone is playing a nasty joke in the GCO yahoo group. as it turned out, mr. c did not send that e-mail. here's y we should believe him:

1) he was his usual self on thursday's prac but on friday, he suddenly msg me saying that it wasn't him. he sounded geniunely shocked and pissed that someone would impersonate him and play such a trick. then on sat's rehearsal, he was so quiet and withdrawn, seemingly upset that no one believes him.
2) FY told WK that actually when she and mr. c were quite close previously and mr. c would always fetch her to practices, they'd receive various disturbing messages (not sure if it's phone msgs or e-mails). and what's more disturbing is, that person seemed to know a lot of FY's personal details, things we would not normally tell ppl, or only to our very close friends.
3) the e-mail address used to send that message was not the one usually used by mr. c, but a new one that joined the group just that day.

so even tho' it's puzzling how that joker knows abt mr. c's interest in FY and later me (coz i only told N abt it and i'm sure only FY's close friends knew), and even tho' the prankster's language proficiency is of the same level as mr. c's, we think the probable of it being a prank is much higher than mr. c trying to cover up his ass.

from phone conversation with KK yesterday, realized the severity of the matter and how anxious the persons-in-charge are abt it. KK concluded that it may be the works of someone in GCO itself (*shudder*!!), or it could be an outsider observing GCO closely and have somehow gotten him/herself into the yahoo group. before this, anyone can join the group and post messages in there, so it'll be easy for someone with bad intentions to penetrate into the group and pan zhu sek lou-fu (cantonese for: disguising as a pig to eat the tiger).

and so, KK sent this out to everyone:

Dear all,

After much investigation, we would like to clarify that someone is trying to cause havoc by using a fake email address to post injurious messages to our communication network. We have taken precautious steps hopefully to eliminate such doings in future. FYI, every message posted now will be screened through by our moderators before sending out to all members. Also, new members signing up will need our approval before joining in.

We apologise to all especially Mr. C for becoming the victim to this case. We hope this message will clarify and restore Mr. C's goodwill and reputation. Anyway, it could just be a joke someone wish to crack or someone trying to be funny; just that it's not funny at all and caused much anxiety to some of us! Whoever this person maybe, if you want to apologise, we will much appreciate you do so!

Thanks for all who are concerned about this case and once again very sorry for all the inconvenience caused.

Moderator

and so, case closed! (for now...)

something stupid

background info:
1) GCO (the orchestra) has a yahoo group that its members use for communications, and to send info or updates, or sometimes just to keep in touch.
2) there's this fellow cellist (let's call him mr. c) in gco who's been quite forward in his advances towards me, and for whom i've not an ouce of feelings whatsoever.

incident:
on tuesday night, mr. c posted a message to the yahoo group, with the subject "hope all GCO member will support me... thank a lot...". the content (copied in full, with only changes done on names mentioned) goes.....

stargal, before that, i really thought that the FY is very important for me, but when i know more on you and communicate more on you, i only realize that the more important person in my life is you and i really love you...I love you....stargal,give me a chance... i only love you...all here can become the witness

the reaction:
*speechless*

after reading it several times and convinced myself that this is indeed not a prank, felt "n'ng" (hokkien for faint/lemah). immediately called N up and asked her to check her mail and then to call me back.

N: *scream*
stargal: how how how???
N: *scream*
stargal: what is he trying to do???
N: *scream*
stargal: is he crazy or what?
N: *scream*
stargal: ok, u can stop screaming now and start talking!

after consulting N, W and CC, thought it best that i give a reply, reason being:
1) if keep quiet, the other members may think i'm ok with it n he has a chance.
2) HE would think he has a chance.
3) i have to bring the matter to a proper close.
4) i need to highlight the misusage of the yahoo group for such nonsense.

but, i need to take into consideration:
1) his feelings. we are still comrades in faith and in gco (same section some more!)
2) the feelings/mood of the whole group after getting such things in the mail.

my reply:
aiyo mr. c! apa lar u! y say such geli things here??? memalukan only!

seriously, thank you for your high regards for me. but sorry to tell you that i already have someone dear in my heart. if i've ever done anything to cause any misunderstanding for you, let me say i'm sorry.

anyway, let's be matured people ok? please do not misuse this yahoo group for such things. this group is solely for communications among GCO members. let's keep it a healthy group, ok?

u understand boh? :)

~ stargal

actually i'd wanted to write that i'm already attached, but CC said he may not believe that. also, according to her, takkan announce to the whole group that i'm attached?! zhong sai pei yan kao keh? (cantonese for: how other ppl wanna court u later?) true also. so just write that i've already been smitten by someone else.

and what communications??? as far as i'm concerned, i have no conversational topic with him! everytime we do talk, i have to lower myself to his level and talk nonsense with him. if that's his idea of communication, then he's shallower than i thought.

also, he didn't do any research beforehand. i doubt that he knows how old i am! ok, i dunno y, but have this tendency to attract younger guys. but this mr. c is so young that he's became my personal record! urgh!

current situation:
1) he's still as thick-skinned as ever during practices, disturbing ppl shamlessly n attracting lots of attention onto himself. kenot stand!
2) KK (yahoo group owner) has banned him from the group
3) GCO members went about business as usual, tho' i did notice some funny glances my way
4) from yum cha session with some of the gals after practice, found that they thought him to be a stupid, childish and conceited ass.
5) KK and WK (GCO's persons-in-charge) will let this matter rest, it being his first case. but if he causes anymore trouble, they'll definitely give him the boot. (WK: i can't have such things happening in GCO. it has happened before and now it's happening again. i'd rather lose a cellist than have *MH's case be repeated).

oh, found out too that FY have rejected him long time ago! and there he was, writing as if he's dumped FY! how insensitive of him to bring up her name! URGH!!!


*MH's case: a long time ago, there was this member in GCO, L, who was so obesessed with clarinetist MH that when she rejected him, he stalked her back home and even went up to her office to profess his love for her. she had to engage the help of the security guards to drive him away! and after every practice, the guys in GCO would need to escort MH home coz he would be stalking her. the issue was even brought up to general director! in the end, an order was issued that L not be allowed into our culture centre grounds and MH disappeared from GCO, changed her phone number and maintained a low profile in the culture group front.