now what?

so i've studied, so i've graduated, so i've found a job... and then what?

been so listless lately... can't see where i'm going from here. what am i doing here? what's in store for me? what's the meaning of all these??? dun even have the mood to blog anymore...

beginning to drag my feet to work now. partly it's due to the 8am clocking-in time... but am beginning to hate the nature of the job. not so much the core tasks, but those 'additional' stuff that's being pushed my way. multitask my *ss!

*sigh...

maybe u know...

was just doing some housekeeping in my e-mail folders when i came across this e-mail between bro and i, dated somewhere in feb 2001. the subject title is as above.

---

stargal wrote:
hey, pk n i were just chatting one night (into the wee hours), when dunno how come i came to the subject of our little brother... remember him? so i told her the tragedy, how it happened n all... i know we had not mentioned it for a long time, but i still think of him sometimes... how different things will be if he's still around. that night with pk, it occured to me that i don't know what happened to his remains... maybe u know, coz u were older. i was too young to remember the details, n anyway mom left me with 'poh-poh', so i don't exactly know what happened. did u go to the funeral? was he buried, or cremated? if buried, where? if cremated, what happened to his ashes? also, it occured to me that i had already lost one brother, i can't afford to lose another. so be careful in whatever u do, ok?

bro wrote:
Yeah.... now u remind me.... the only thing I remember was u, Poh Poh and I went to the hospital morque where he lay in the casket. I dun really know what happened after that after we took a bus back to Mata Kuching. Now that u ask me, I am also wondering........ could it have something to do with the green plaque placed at the butsudan? Maybe his ashes were scattered at sea. I really do think the plaque is really the only connection we have with him. Oh, well, if he's still around, most probably he'll be entering Uni this year....... if he never got that JPA scholarship in F5......

I can sense u are getting really melancholic aren't u? I feel the same way bout u - u take care too.

P/s - u will forget everything bout me when u find some guy to fall in love with.... :) So, what the heck are u waiting for?

stargal wrote:
eh, don't say like that leh... u will always be my favourite bro (not that i have any other choice! ahahaha...)

phone converstation with bro

bro: hey, did FaMa call u?
stargal: no wor.
bro: hmp, they've been gone for almost one week and not even a phone call home.
stargal: they didn't call u too?
bro: no lar. VERY irresponsible huh?

hehe...

*note: parents on holiday in shanghai now.

sudden inspiration...

as i was on my way to the lrt station this morning, i suddenly went *ding* with an inspiration! hehehe... i can print out copies of flyers that said: "THE WORLD IS NOISY ENOUGH AS IT IS NOW WITHOUT THE LIKES OF YOU CONTRIBUTING FURTHER TO THE NOISE POLUTION!!", and whenever i see a car with exhaust pipe (hole) larger than a 50 sen coin, i'll stick one on the windshield wiper! or if the car is moving, i'll flag it down frantically (as if i have something very VERY important to tell them) and just coolly hand one to the driver! ingenious or what? *grin*

on a more serious note, i think the gov should impose a ban on such a stupid thing! and the penalty for having an exhaust pipe larger (and noisier) than the gov-accepted one? to have the offender's leg stuffed into the said exhaust pipe for a full 24 hours! what are those drivers trying to prove with their dinosaur-sounding exhaust anyway? *rolling eyes*

next planned holiday

well, it's not exactly a holiday... just a trip really, and only for the weekends.

hk cousin getting married early next year, so the whole family will be flying over to attend it. still thinking if i wanna go, coz will only be there for 3 days (including the traveling days!). worth it?

but wanna see how weddings in hk are like... i guess i can always extend my stay, but have to think abt (limited) funds...

wonder if H will be willing to let me tumpang at his place? kekeke...

orchestral weekends...

looks like i'm being very occupied with gco (Galactic Chamber Orchestra) nowadays, which is a good thing. at least i'm back in the cultural group and 'reconnecting' myself with gakkai. after leaving bbkk (Brass Band & Kotekitai), i always feel 'disconnected' from gakkai even tho' i still attend the occasional discussion meetings and ywd (Young Women Division) activities in my chapter/region. i always miss the bonds and comradeship felt so strongly during our kk training days...

now, even tho i've yet to really feel the strong bonds of comradeship with the gco members, which i think can only be forged with time, at least i'm enjoying the practices and the company (and the music!). i've found again the desire to better myself and improve my skills.

anyway, weekends have been (and will be) very bz these days, as we're preparing for our music fest in early dec, practices on thurs & sat, and rehearsals on sun. it'll be my first performance (as a cellist) on the stage in IPA! but gosh, our performance piece is so difficult! composed by Yamamoto san, it's very 'japanese' feel... not many ppl will know how to appreciate it, esp non-members, as it depicts Ikeda Sensei's journey in worldwide kosen-rufu. praying for it's success!

on a totally unrelated matter... am pissed with someone. last time, when i was in kk, i have a nickname among the percussionists ---> puppy. it's sorta like a form of endearment between the gals (at least that's what i think!!!). anyway, since i started going for gco practices, i've been bumping into many old friends from bbkk. one of them is sc, now a 'big sister' among the percussionists. and whenever i bump into her, she'll take the 'puppy' nickname literally! when i call out to her, she'll say things like, "oh it's u. i was wondering which dog is barking madly", or whenever she sees me, she'll make some 'tsk, tsk, tsk' sound (like we always do when trying to get an animal's attention). yesterday, she even pointed me out to her friends, "look, there's a dog over there". urgh!!! how very "sensitive" of her! and we (the older gals) were juz commenting on how the young 'uns are getting to be big gals di! *rolling eyes*

cello debut

it was just a small recital actually, nothing big. so there's not too much pressure and it's good exposure for me. overall, it went ok, i think.

anyway, i looked so serious in the pic. hahaha... concentrating on every note! but i'm always looking serious when i'm not smiling. *mental note to self: must remember to smile in my next performance.

makan trip @ m'ca

one of the places we 'terserempak' in between our makan was the 'Cheng Ho Culture Museum'. didn't even know such a place existed. it's made up of a few (3, i think) pre-war houses on the street adjacent to jonker street (same row as the first Orang Utan shop). nothing much in there, but was charged a cut-throat RM10 per person! found out one interesting fact, tho': the admiral was actually a eunuch, but has descendants in thailand... now how is that?

puppet show about cheng ho's life and death


cheng ho's junk said to be 17 times (if i remember correctly) bigger than marco polo's ship


some other shots taken from the CHCM



m'ca river... been so long since i last went there. didn't know it became so nice (the river bank, at least)


and finally, the one and only pic of the food we ate! baba cendol... it's all self-service. we were sitting at the table for a full 10 min, wondering when will anyone come to take our orders, when we saw other customers walking into the shop holding trays and bowls of the dessert. dunno what's that shop's name, but it's on jonker street and apparently is very popular, despite the interior of the shop smelling of rat pooh.