Wednesday, August 24, 2005


I remember quite clearly now when this story happened
The autumn leaves were floating and measured down to the ground
Recovering the lake where we used to swim like children
On the sun dare to shine
That time, we used to be happy
Well, I thought we were
But the truth was that - you had been longing to leave me
Not daring to tell me
On that precious night, watching the lake, vaguely conscious
You said: Our story was ending.

Now I'm standing here
No one to wipe away my tears
No one to keep me warm
And no one to walk along with
No one to make me feel
No one to make me whole
Oh! What am I to do?

I'm standing here alone
It doesn't seem so clear to me
What am I supposed to do about this burning heart of mine
Oh! What am I to do?
Or how should I react?
Oh! Tell me please!

The rain was killing the last days of summer
You had been killing my last breath of love
Since a long time ago...
I still don't think I'm gonna make it through another love story
You took it all away from me
And there I stand,
I knew I was gonna be the...
The one left behind
But still I'm watching the lake, vaguely conscious
And I know -
My life is ending.
~ Story, Viktor Lazlo 1986


heard this on the radio the other day. it sounded so sad that i cried. sitting there on the floor next to the radio, my tears just kept flowing. even after the song has finished, i'm still crying, long and hard (and loud!). the tune, the wordings, the tone of voice... they seemed to open up my old wounds (that was never really healed) and just let the tears wash over it. and my heart bleeds all over again. this Story is just like my story. *sigh...

thinking back, come 31st august will be exactly one year i've been blogging, and also exactly one year since the incident that prompted my blogging. one year since my heart was torn open cruely, leaving a gaping wound that wouldn't heal. one year since i truly understand the expression 'bleeding heart', coz that was exactly what i felt. as if the heart is drowing in it's own pool of blood, suffocating itself while it sinks deeper and deeper into the dark abyss of hopelessness...